I’m still in disbelief over the progress between the mother and daughter I saw yesterday in session. I was so relieved and touched by their openness and vulnerability that I cried.
Because just last week, they wouldn’t even look at each other. And after seeing their painful pattern of attacking and shutting down, I wasn’t sure if I could help.
I know! The night and day difference is almost too fantastic to believe.
More importantly, this experience led to my own understanding of how we can bring greater clarity and closeness to our relationships.
Let me explain.
First, there are patterns in relationships. This plays out in an I move, you move, round and round we go kind of dance.
And without ever realizing it our relationships get entrenched in the dance. Meaning there is no separation between us and the dance.
And just like I observed in the dynamic with the mother and daughter, the dance can get incredibly painful. But even if it’s a trickle, our need for connection is so great that we still come back time and time again to lap our mouths under the faucet.
Breaking these patterns first involves intimately understanding the dance. Knowing this, will help with breaking the rules of the dance. Think of Jim Carrey’s character at the end of “The Truman Show” when he keeps pressing into the storm, past the edge of his known world, and steps into the unknown, both terrifying and liberating.
So, what’s next? That’s a good question. I’ll meet you here tomorrow.