In my line of work, I fear people will use me for my knowledge, tools, or skills and, like a soiled paper plate, discard me when I no longer benefit them. But when people stay. Like stay and stay and stay, it’s as though their presence challenges the notion that my worth is finite orContinue reading “Bad Boys For Life”
Author Archives: Jaclynn Loibl
Come Fly With Me
Did Dave see the ducks-at-large on the lake this morning? A blurry photo with a white and black duck and two brown ones surfaced in a text message from him. It’s on! I’m getting in the kayak when I get home and will try to corral them home, hopefully. I’m pretty checked out of myContinue reading “Come Fly With Me”
Sitting Duck Dinner
I can never do anything right. The thought, coupled with a sinking feeling in my chest, creates a knockout in just two punches. And by knock out, I mean; my mind goes blank, I think the worst, and I get frustrated with myself and whoever’s within arm’s length of me. Everything I said just nowContinue reading “Sitting Duck Dinner”
Say It, Don’t Spray It
Years ago, I co-led a treatment group for men that had committed sex offenses. Reflecting on the two years we spent together, I believe the more brutal moments led to the most significant amount of my self-growth. At the end of every hour and a half long session, the men and I would stand andContinue reading “Say It, Don’t Spray It”
Flight Of The Bumbling Me
I’m at SeaTac airports’ cell phone waiting lot, and as you might have guessed, I’m waiting. I’m early on purpose; a bit of space for me to clear my head. Four Hispanic males are standing nearby, taking photos of the “N” wing of the airport and of the airplanes. I want get out and practiceContinue reading “Flight Of The Bumbling Me”
Everybody Hurts
I’m feeling judged by what I write. That someone is watching and wagging their finger at every thought. Not good enough. Nope, not gonna cut it. No one cares. And then I break through these barriers like a winner in Red Rover. And I begin to trust my Archimedes ones that make me feel brilliant.Continue reading “Everybody Hurts”
Maximum Mayhem Mama
Do you know dogs and the zoomies? Well, whenever the duck’s pool water is newly filled, they too get the zoom-zoom-zooms. It’s as if the holy spirit bursts through them like a laser light beam, and their body can’t handle the power, so they become a projectile device moving without coordination or care. I feelContinue reading “Maximum Mayhem Mama”
Precious And Few
What to talk about tonight? The rain? The double-booking an hour and how shitty that feels? The not knowing what I want to write about. I’m breaking patterns, and feeling unsafe and uncomfortable is essential for growth. I felt removed from writing tonight and a longing. I don’t know what it is about music, butContinue reading “Precious And Few”
Ground Control To Major Tom
I’m on an unsubscribe kick in email land. I usually jam the delete button repeatedly; I’m now taking two or three extra steps to do it right. You know, doing what I can to take a load off future Jaclynn’s shoulders. Present Jaclynn has a lot on her shoulders. I have tension in my foreheadContinue reading “Ground Control To Major Tom”
What A Wonderful World
While being hand-delivered ice from Evelyn, Dave asks, “Do you think I can do it?” He isn’t talking to me, I learn. Instead, he is asking himself if he can cut a board in half or not. It turns out he can, and I cheer him on when he does. I’m chewing the ice, swallowingContinue reading “What A Wonderful World”
Going On 40 