Processing – Page 2 – Going On 40

Burn Baby Burn

I’m a run a trail of gas, light a match, and burn everything to the ground type of person. These past few days, it’s been tough to break this pattern. Its sweet, cunning words say, “Follow me, I know best,” as its snake-charming, beckoning finger takes me in a direction. I must abide. Move toContinue reading “Burn Baby Burn”

Damned If I

I’m that fan of myself, the one with an absurdly large number one finger on my hand, but just as quickly, I will back myself into a corner with the snarling, foaming mouth of a pit bull. That’s because “Sometimes you’re the windshield. Sometimes you’re the bug.” For part of today, I felt like a big, red,Continue reading “Damned If I”

Will You Catch Me

For eight months, I’ve navigated virtual counseling with a young client that showed up in person for the first time today. A Bath and Body Works scent hits my nose as we hug, “Well, don’t you smell good.” I say, pulling away to take in the real-life human standing before me. With the smirk, “Yeah,Continue reading “Will You Catch Me”

Fight For Your Right

Do you ever want to bitch, rant, stomp your feet and scream at the top of your lungs about something or someone until…like, forever? I do. All the freaking time! It’s hard being me; just an upstanding citizen on the verge of going full Karen all the time. I had a call earlier with anContinue reading “Fight For Your Right”

A Newish You

Creating a new persona is a tip I learned on an episode of “Accelerated Spanish” podcast. This alter ego is supposed to think, speak, and behave in a different way than you usually would, and the podcast creator insists switching personalities this way is a tool native speakers use to be highly effective. I thought,Continue reading “A Newish You”

Psychic Musculature

I’m in a state in-between states, a ride suspended in mid-air. I’m like a sea monkey ping-ponging around a cheaply-made plastic aquarium. And then, I feel the steam of the boiling egg noodles hit my face, and I imagine how ricotta would be in the dish. And like butter, my mood changes. A friend calls,Continue reading “Psychic Musculature”

Unbreak My Heart

A gun is pushing into the center of my back. I must do what I’m told. There’s a pressure inside me, an unknown force that strongholds my thoughts, stifles creativity, and makes me feel utterly powerless. I’d like to perform a badass MMA move on it. Specifically, The Undertaker’s tombstone pile driver – ain’t nobodyContinue reading “Unbreak My Heart”

Lesson On Guilt

What’s the emotion you least like experiencing and why? Mine has always been guilt. I think it’s because guilt usually comes wrapped with fear and anxiety like bacon and cream cheese do in a jalapeno popper. Too much guilt is like weeds in a garden. A few are fine, but the more you have, theContinue reading “Lesson On Guilt”

You’re So Sensitive

Do you know when basketball or soccer players fall to the ground intentionally to try to draw a penalty? But, just like the Griswold’s turkey at Christmas, it can be so overdone that you can’t help shake your head at the display. We live in a hyper-sensitive time where the line between what’s ok andContinue reading “You’re So Sensitive”

Lore Living

What is the story you tell of your life? Is it tragic? A story of hardships, if only’s, and passed me by’s. Or is it triumphant? A tale of browbeating challenges, of overcomings, and breakthroughs. Or a nightmare? A tribute to your traumas, inescapable monsters and demons, and fears. We can’t help but cast ourselvesContinue reading “Lore Living”